Chuckles

A Senior Moment.

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says, “I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample.”

The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, “What did he say?”

The wife yells back to him . . .

…

“GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERPANTS”

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.

He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.

He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

‘Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?’ she asked. ‘They’re mating,’ her father replied.

‘What do you call the spider on top?’ she asked. ‘That’s a Daddy Longlegs,’ her father answered.

‘So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?’ the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, ‘No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.’

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat.

‘Well, we’re not having any of that shit in our garden’ she said.